meet april

I spent most of my life dreaming about being someone special, and even more time consumed with the idea that I wasn’t. I wasn’t pretty enough. I wasn’t smart enough. I was much too skinny. My nose was too big. My  hair was too frizzy. I sucked at basketball…funny thing is, I HATE basketball, so why I even cared is beyond me. I’m a people pleaser, or at least, I was, but after years of prayer, I’ve come to realize I am special, and I don’t have to prove it to anyone either. I missed out on so many opportunities because I either didn’t try or if I did try, I didn’t do my best because deep down I figured if I didn’t really try I couldn’t really fail, so I just spent most of my life on the sidelines imagining how much easier or better my life would be if I were prettier or smarter or had bigger boobs or more talent. It was such a miserable life.

I started this blog to share my sewing projects. For years, I’d wanted to sew but was convinced could never do it, and then, we had our daughter Sophie, and I started playing around with it a bit and eventually got my own sewing machine. My bff from high school also came back into my life around that time and had the same interest in sewing and crafts as I did, so with her there, I pushed forward and eventually realized I did have a talent for it. My blog grew…not huge or anything, but I made some really great friends and gained some wonderful and supportive readers who helped me to realize that I did have value and talent, and I am so grateful that God put those wonderful people in my life.

When I first started my blog, I gained readers mostly by sharing sewing tutorials and free patterns, but to be honest, I’ve gotten bored with just sewing all the time. I still love it, but I sometimes I think I’ve got a slight touch of ADHD. I lose interest in things so quickly, and want to move on to my next adventure or crazy project that makes my hubby and all the rest of the family roll their eyes and say, “don’t you have enough on your plate???”. For the first couple of years, the approval addict in me kept me going, cranking out tutorials, but then I just got sick of it, so instead of doing what I really wanted I sat around and did nothing…Seriously, nothing. For about six months I accomplished little more than cleaning out my pinterest boards. I wanted to get back to blogging so badly, but soon we were starting to homeschool so I wouldn’t have all that much time for it I’d only be able to post maybe a few times a week, plus I didn’t want to post just sewing about sewing, but what would people think??? So, once again I’d put myself on the sidelines worrying whether people would like me and what they might think of me….like anyone is going to be sitting at home whispering “Did you know that girl over at Wildflowers + Whimsy only posts once every week or two??”  I mean, really??? The things I worry about are just so dumb sometimes…Okay, well, most of the time.

Long story short, well actually, it’s probably more like short story long: I have a vision for what I want this blog to beI want it to be a place that inspires others to stop sitting on the sidelines and go for their dreams. If God puts it on your heart {or even if you just think he did}, then go for it! I wasted so many hours worrying about failing, but here’s the thing about God, even if you mess up, even if you thought you heard from God and you really didn’t, He knows your heart, and if you are truly doing something because you feel it is His will, He won’t let you get too far off track. He may even want you to go through that experience of failing so that you can learn something from it. Now I would never encourage anyone to go off the deep end and get in a ton of debt starting a business or something like that, but you know start small. Take little steps and see how it goes and continue praying about it, and if it really is God’s will He will open those doors for you.