Back in 2010, I’d taught myself to sew and thought maybe I’d make a business out of it, so I started this blog because I really wanted my customers to have a place to get to know me. I wanted them to feel confident in ordering from me, but it didn’t take long (one post exactly) for me to realize I wanted to help women a lot more than I wanted to make money.
See I’d grown up incredibly insecure. I was “painfully” skinny, bad hair, huge glasses, braces, a bio father who’d abandoned me, along with a whole host of other things I won’t bore you with on our first meeting. I’d just recently learned that I could actually develop a relationship with Christ instead of just following a religion and taught myself to sew. I know the two seem unrelated but stick with me.
There was such freedom that came from both of those things. After growing up in church, at 18, I realized there was no way I could ever be perfect. I honestly didn’t even want to be. Most of it just seemed ridiculous to me. Then someone taught me that I could study the Bible for myself – and things started to make a lot more sense.
Within the same time period, my husband and I had a daughter. I wanted all the boutique things, but I also did not have nor did I desire to spend $100 on a single outfit for a 10 month old, so google became my best friend. Over the next year or so, I taught myself to sew. I’d convinced myself at around 6 yrs old – back when my grandma was trying to teach me, it was something I’d never be able to do, but I did. And y’all…I was good.
These two things had given me a brand new confidence and joy I just couldn’t explain. I wanted to share that with as many women as possible. I knew that if I could learn these things, anyone could so I put my focus there – mainly on teaching women to sew, but also pointing them towards God when I felt lead to.
The first 2 years were such a joy. I developed so many friendships that I still have to this day and am eternally grateful for. I learned so much from my fellow female bloggers. Then, major companies started to realize our influence. It seemed like a good idea. It wasn’t – and please understand, I’m not really saying it’s not, only that it wasn’t for me at the time.
Rather that connecting and sharing, my objective became deadlines and pinterest perfect pictures – which I still haven’t mastered 6 years later by the way. Blogging wasn’t what I wanted it to be anymore, so rather than keep on trucking along with my vision, I kept trying to fit into everyone else’s.
I kept telling myself I’d no longer be successful if I didn’t keep up with the Jones’. I forgot about my unique voice, my unique purpose, and I handed it over and gave up. I tried so many times over the years to fit in. I missed blogging so, so very much. I simply couldn’t ever fully give it up.
But I kept trying to do it on the world’s terms. I forgot that my unique voice and perspective had value. I believed the lie that I had to look like and sound like everyone else – this perfectly pruned rose. I tried my best to be appear one of them and to belong in that pretty crystal vase blogging had become, but I forgot one important truth:
I’m a wildflower.
And wildflowers grow best in dirt, bloom where they’re planted, and are fully reliant on and confident in God, not the world’s approval or what it can provide – yet that’s what I’d been doing.
So from now on, what you can expect to find here is the story of a woman doing her best to grow where she’s planted, learning to be confident in who she was created to be, and trusting in God to give her the strength, grace, and wisdom to fulfill her unique purpose.